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  • Danielle Turner LCSW

Are You Dating Yourself?

When is the last time you went out on a date with a significant other, someone you were getting to know or with friends? How was it? Dating is nice as it gives you a way to get to know someone, it helps you learn their likes and dislikes. It also allows you to enjoy doing an activity you enjoy with someone. Dating is important in every stage of a relationship. It is also important to building relationships, building communication, and getting to know someone on a deeper level. Dating can be fun, give you a spark and lets you know that someone wants to give you attention. Spending time together grows a relationship. All that is great and wonderful. I love a nice romantic date with my love. I also enjoy the adventurous dates we go on, especially when we are experiencing something new together. Sometimes we even have date night at home. Getting dressed, cooking together, having a candle lit dinner and playing a board game without leaving the house can be an amazing time. We could go on and on about dating our significant others or individuals we are getting to know. But what about dating ourselves? When was the last time you dated yourself? What does that mean you ask? The same as dating someone else.


Dating yourself is a form of self-care. Being alone does not mean the end of the world, there are benefits to treating yourself nicely and doing things solo. Dating yourself allows you to know the things you like and dislike about yourself. It gives you a chance to get to know yourself on a deeper level. One of the best things about dating yourself is you get to do whatever you want without the input of anyone else. Dating yourself allows you to build your relationship with yourself. Because the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Dating yourself builds self-confidence because you are learning to rely on yourself for your happiness. The more you date yourself the easier it becomes.


Dating yourself improve your self-love. You are forced to be with your thoughts and feelings, which can be scary. However, once you can process those thoughts in a positive way, the scary part will decrease. Personal growth is part of dating yourself, you cannot date yourself without growing personally. One way to improve your relationship with others is dating yourself. Others cannot get to know the real you, if you don’t know the real you. If you want to truly learn how to be self-sufficient and do your own thing on your own terms, dating yourself is a must. You truly learn that you do not need anyone else to meet your needs when you date yourself. This is not saying you will never need someone in your life, we all need support, love and companionship, it does however mean that when you receive support, love and companionship from others, it enhances your life and adds to it.


The same way you would want your significant other to take you out and treat you nicely is the same way you should be treating yourself. Dating yourself does not just mean going to eat out alone at a restaurant. Dating yourself means doing things that impact you in a positive way and build you up.


  • Treat yourself to something nice. Why wait for someone else you get you that item you have been wanting. Buy it yourself, you deserve it!

  • Learn something new. Try different activities that you have not tried before to discover your interests. Take a class or course in an area unrelated to work or other areas in your life. Learning a new skill or hobby can be exciting.

  • Take a break from social media platforms. Put your phone down because dating yourself is all about you. Taking a break from social media also allows you to pour into yourself and not feed off others or compare yourself to others.

  • Write yourself a love letter. Tell yourself how awesome you, write about your wins, what things you love about yourself and your journey to self-love. Be as detailed as you can so that you can re-read your love letter as a reminder of how amazing you are periodically.

  • Go to a restaurant, museum, movies, play, comedy show, park, concert, etc. It really doesn’t matter where you go, just go somewhere you enjoy.

  • Dress up for yourself and get your sexy on! Do your hair, throw on an outfit you feel good in, and take some pics. You will love the way you feel and look.

  • Buy yourself some flowers, a nice candle, some essential oils, perfume or anything that smells good and puts a smile on your face.

Be a good friend to yourself, love yourself and take care of you. Take the opportunity to do things you want to do. Become your own best friend. Dating yourself is an excellent way to practice self-care. It’s worth it. Remember your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Treasure it, cultivate it and watch it grow. Let me know how dating yourself has gone for you and what things have you done when dating yourself in the comments. As always, be safe, stay well and take care of you.


-Danielle

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